


Night Terrors

by Tsuki (lunarrainbows)



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-28
Updated: 2011-11-28
Packaged: 2017-10-26 15:21:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/284813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunarrainbows/pseuds/Tsuki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Even Lavi is afraid of something. So during the middle of the night, he ends up coming to the only one he knows won't laugh at him, Kanda, in search of comfort. Yuvi with Endavi hints.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Night Terrors

**Author's Note:**

> This is told from Kanda's point of view for the whole story. Its set before Cross' supposed death and after the level four attack.

 

Kanda loved the rain. The soothing sound of the drops of water hitting the ground, windows or even the roofs of buildings nearby was enough to relax him enough to want to curl up in a chair and take a cat nap. Not that anyone knew this of course, because if they did—he really would have to maim some nosy brats that didn't know how the hell to shut their mouths.

The good thing was, now that he was in the safety of his room and he didn't have to worry about anyone bothering him. At least anyone moderately sane. The only ones that would even dare try to get his attention when he was in his room was the idiotic usagi, the stupid beansprout, or Lenalee when she was on one of her “Charity case ideas” again.

A scowl came to his lips unknowingly at the thought. Lenalee was...tolerable, but she was way too fucking nice. Hell, she was nicer than the fucking sprout and he was a damn kid with a martyr complex! Shit, he didn't want to think of things that would irritate the hell out of him, especially at one in the morning either.

Why the fuck was he wide awake at this time of the morning anyways? He had been sleeping soundly one minute, then he was wide awake the next. The sound of rumbling thunder answered him, and he sighed in irritation as he stared up at the ceiling. Throwing his right arm over his eyes he tried to sleep, the key word being _tried_ , yet what kept him awake this time wasn't the thunder and bright flashes of lightning outside, it was the ever daunting reminder of his curse. The glow of the lotus that he could even see through the partial cover that his arms made over his eyes had him sitting up, staring at the thing that had haunted him for years.

_With each petal that falls, more of my life slips away...Tch, I remember when I wanted to die. Back then..._

He remembered it all too well in fact. Sometimes, during nights like this when he couldn't sleep he easily was caught up in memories of things that happened long ago, the memories that he had of when he was experimented on, the times that he had died and was revived again because of the curse....

Damn it all, he had a feeling that this was going to be one of those nights. The nights where he didn't get much sleep and all he could think about was the fucking curse that had him living a life that no one should be subjected to. Something that he was both grateful for and hated to the point of wanting to kill the damn scientists that had experimented on him in the first place.

He would have, if they weren't already dead.

Shaken from his thoughts by a particularly loud bang of thunder and an unneeded flash of overly bright lightning greeting his eyes he let out a soft curse, wanting nothing more than to sleep. He didn't want to have to think, not about his curse or about things that would annoy the hell out of him. He just wanted to sleep, was that too much to ask for?!

“--uu, 're 'ou 'wake?”

Groaning in irritation the bluenette got up, moving towards the door. Who in their right mind--

Nevermind, he knew exactly who was stupid enough to wake him up at this time of the night. Even the damned beansprout knew decency when it came to this time of the night, but the redhead, he was different. He was much different than the people he had interacted with before, hell—he could even be put in a class of his own when it came to trying to compare him to others.

“Yuu--” Lavi's voice croaked out from behind the heavy wooden door, sounding small and downright frightened. He knew the redhead, and he had only heard this lost, despairing tone when he awoke from a jarring nightmare, one where the horror still held fast to him even when he was awake. This was different, he could actually hear the redhead shaking against the door.

“The hell--” Opening the door, he was greeted with a sight that he didn't think he'd see. Lavi looked positively pitiful, he was shaking like a wet leaf, his hair was in disarray, the normally happy green eye only displaying a sort of fear that had something inside of him clench with a feeling akin to worry.

Lavi was never this pathetic, he was never this afraid. What in the hell had happened to him?

“Yuu!” The redhead had tackled the bluenette, sending them to fall sprawled out on the floor as the door slammed shut behind them. Lavi wasn't teasing, he simply clung to the other, burying his face into Kanda's chest as another loud clap of thunder and a bright flash of lighting greeted the only two still awake.

“What the fuck...usagi, get the hell off of me!” The samurai hissed out, sounding more surprised than irritated at the moment. He didn't know why the hell the redhead was so scared, and hell...he could feel the taller teen shaking his head against him and he could hear the whimper of fear as another loud bang of thunder resonated in his ears--

Then he knew. He didn't know how, but he knew why Lavi was shaking like a leaf, why he sounded so pitiful as he clung to him, the dry sobs were the wordless affirmation that he needed. “Che, you're afraid of the storm, aren't you?”

“N-no!”

Damn it, this was getting him nowhere. He didn't like the fact that he was lying with his back against the floor, and he didn't like the fact that Lavi of all people was clinging to him tightly and wouldn't let go.

“Damn it Rabi, let me up!” His accent showed with his irritation, as well as the tiredness that was trying to take hold of him once more, yet with the redhead clinging to him like this, he knew that he wouldn't be sleeping anytime soon. Not when he looked so pathetic...

“Y-you won't...” Lavi began, sounding like an afraid child as he spoke. “You won't kick me out, will you Yu?” The Japanese teen was reminded once again that he had seen the redhead like this before, only once, but that was enough to bring forth the memory of what he needed to do to get the other off of him.

“Quit being a baby and let me get up rabbit, or I seriously will run you through with Mugen!”

Apparently that was enough to send the hysteric redhead into a fit of soft laughter because he could see, even in the darkness of Kanda's room that Mugen wasn't on his person, and he could affirm that with how he let his grip upon the elder exorcist recede. Even though Lavi had let go of Kanda, he still stuck against his side like an ever trailing shadow, one that would be hard to get rid of.

Lavi, finally getting the hint, moved away enough so that the bluenette could stand up and glare at him before finally settling onto his bed, sitting up stiffly as he was clung to again.

_Damned storm...why the hell did the rabbit come to me of all people?!_

“Y-yuu-chan...”

Another loud clap of thunder had Lavi yelping loudly, trying to disappear within his arms as he pushed his face against his chest. Unable to breathe comfortably because of it, he tried to pry the red head's arms from him, only to be greeted with actual sobs.

“D-don't...”

Sighing, he stared down at the irritating redhead, the one that chose him of all people to go to for comfort. What in the hell went through his head when that thought occurred to him? He knew that Lavi wasn't scared of him, but it even went this far?

Really, Lavi was fucking lucky that he was tired enough to even be this nice to him. Well, as nice as he could be when it came to the redhead. With a deep sigh, his hand _slipped_ and he ended up hitting the back of the taller exorcist's head with a closed fist, and the yelp he got for doing it sounded more like the norm, which had him smirking in amusement.

“O-ow Yuu-chan! Didja have to do that?”

Scoffing he turned his head and stared at anything that wasn't Lavi's curious green eye, that green eye that looked to be more like itself. The redhead was shaking less, but he could still feel the flinches against him when the room lit up with the flashes of lightning that lit up the sky outside. It was a good thing that the thunder had subsided for the time being, because he wasn't sure just how much longer he could handle the sobs that came from the other.

“Quit being a child, Lavi.”

“Its not my fault Yu!” the redhead complained, burying his head back into his chest when the thunder came back, this time increasing to an almost deafening roar in their ears. “I-I can't help it. I know its irrational, but its the only real thing I get scared of....besides you when you want to k-kill me.” he murmured, and it took Kanda a few seconds to understand just what the hell Lavi had said because he was trying his hardest to meld his body with his own.

“Will you just let me the fuck go so I can sleep?!”

Shit, he could almost hear Lavi's next statement. _Why are you being so nice Yu-chan?_ Fuck, even with the redhead clinging to him like this, he could actually hear him ask this without it truly happening. Or did it? A light shake to his shoulders told him that it did, and he hit Lavi over the head again, this time lighter than the first time he did.

“Shut the hell up and get under the covers usagi. I'm not telling you a second time.”

Apparently, what he said was enough to make the bookman in training stare at him in shock. Hell, he wasn't that bad! If the damned rabbit learned enough not to get on his nerves, he could actually be more polite to him—unfortunately that wasn't the case. So instead of the calmer indifference that he could get, he got sharp anger and death threats.

_I still don't get how the hell he can say with a straight face that when I do that...._

Shaking free from his thoughts quickly before they went down a road that he didn't want them to go tonight, he cocked a brow as Lavi continued to gape at him.

“Are you deaf as well as being almost completely blind, rabbit?”

“Y-you..did you just tell me to get in bed with you Yu-chan?”

Tch, so that's what he was so shocked about. He just wanted to sleep, and he knew that if he kicked the rabbit out, he would just be pitiful enough to sit outside of his door for a good part of the night while no one was awake, then disappear to his own room when the first signs of people moving about started.

He could deal with a pitiful usagi—wasn't he always like that? But right now, he just wanted to sleep.

“Quit being an idiot and listen to me for once, Rabi!” he hissed out in irritation, yanking the blankets out from underneath the redhead, watching him roll to the side with a sense of strange satisfaction as he did so.

“Sure Yuu-chan.”

Fucking finally! The damned annoying redhead finally understood that he wanted to sleep! God, if he even spoke a word of what was happening now, he wouldn't be able to talk for a good month, he would guarantee it. Feeling Lavi let go of him in favour of pulling the blankets out from underneath them and then over them, he couldn't help the light shiver that went through him at the feel of warm arms wrapping around him.

This was strangely reminiscent of that one night where Lavi had come to him, seeking comfort from him of all people after he had been jarred awake by a particularly gorey dream about a genocide that he had seen not even a few months earlier.

As pitiful as the rabbit was, he knew that he had to be strong if he could manage to stomach the sight of something like that for so long. Even if they were warriors, even if they had seen death first hand, they were still so young, they still were effected by it even if they tried to play the situation down like they weren't.

“Yuu-chan?”

Not answering him directly, he only moved his left arm up to wrap loosely around Lavi's waist as the redhead tucked his head underneath his chin. Lavi was taller, that was true, but when he was like this—which wasn't often, hell it hardly happened at all in fact; he tended to shrink into himself and curl up to him like a lost child. If he was more awake, he would have simply just pushed the other off of his bed and kicked him out, but a small part of him was liking just how clingy Lavi was being, and the soothing warmth that was in his arms was starting to lull him back into a light slumber.

“I remember the last time that I had to do this,” the younger exorcist murmured against the skin of his neck, which had him shifting just a little bit as he stared down at the fiery red hair that was in his line of sight. “You were just like this, irritated to all hells, but you let me hug you like this.”

Letting Lavi talk, he was a bit surprised just a bit with how soothing the red head's tenor could be when he wasn't overly fake. Right now this wasn't the depths of the fake persona, this was the real “Lavi,” not the one that he had to be in front of others. This was the one that he liked more, the one that he could actually tolerate. That was one of the reasons why he let the redhead continue, as well as the fact that he liked his voice. Not that he'd tell him that, but he did.

“You understand, that's why you let me do it, isn't it Yu?”

Tch, he really could be too perceptive sometimes. In that moment, Lavi had hit the nail right on the head. He understood all too well, he could remember the flashes, the bits and pieces of vivid memories of what had happened to him in his first life, then what had happened to him after he was revived as a second exorcist. Yeah, he knew that he wasn't particularly “human,” but for some reason, the small band of friends around him couldn't care less.

The strangest responses he got were from the beansprout and the usagi. Both had told him completely different things, yet in the end they were so similar.

_We all have our scarred pasts and hearts, but its what we go through, what we feel that keeps us being human and keeps us from turning into mindless monsters._

Hearing something like that come from Allen Walker's mouth had him respecting the snowy haired exorcist just a bit more, if that was even possible. He hated the martyr complex the younger exorcist had, but even when he was being closely scrutinized by that bastard Leverrier, he was still proving that he was human, that he wouldn't give in.

That reminded him of what he had learned about Lavi, who he had to remind himself to separate from the fake persona that he had to show everyone else. When he wasn't in the watchful eye of Bookman, he was more real, more genuine. When he had pulled him aside and told him that he was more human than Lavi, himself could ever be, he didn't believe it.

_Yuu-chan, I've had to sit back and watch death so many times that it hardly phases me anymore. You guys, everyone here are the first people I've trusted in my whole life. Hell, I don't even trust Jiji completely. You've felt more, you've experienced more human emotions than I've ever had. You don't think you're human, but I know differently. Being here, it has shown me a lot of things. I've actually learned what it is to be human because of you guys, especially by being your friend, along with Allen's....don't say you're not human, I know you are._

“Just shut up and sleep, baka. You were interrupting my sleep before, and if you continue, I will kick you out and you will have to go through the rest of the night sleepless.” Kanda murmured huskily, his voice raspy from the lethargy that was sinking into his bones.

A light, sleepy laugh was his answer and a nuzzle against his chest was the response he got, with an even sleepier “G'night Yuu-chan.”

“Tch, just sleep idiot.” Kanda mumbled loud enough for the other to hear and closed his eyes, sighing in contentment as he finally started to relax. For some reason, it was easier to sleep with Lavi curled up against him like this, and if he was actually more awake he would have slapped himself for thinking something like this, but he was dead tired, so he just let that single thought go as he finally fell asleep, lulled by the soft breathing of Lavi and the steady beat of his heart.

**Author's Note:**

> The unsaid fear of Kanda's is that he will eventually be seen as a monster by those that are his companions/friends.


End file.
